Korea’s Dating Shows Top the Charts: What Is “Gunghap” Really Matching?
A Korean colleague opened the week with: “Another pair from my show got married.” He means the dating programme I Am Solo — according to a July tally in Asia Economy, the show has produced 17 married couples so far, three of them from season 28 alone. I glanced at Korea’s search list, where marriage-related terms took several places in a row: contestants’ names, “remarriage”, and a singer-and-announcer couple who married in 2013 and were being discussed again for days.
Behind the noise, I remembered something older. In Korea, before a marriage was discussed, there was one procedure that had to be passed: gunghap (궁합).
Gunghap: putting two sets of birth data side by side
The entry on gunghap in the Encyclopedia of Korean Culture is specific about the procedure:
- The two families first discuss the match through a go-between and exchange Four Pillars — the year, month, day and hour of both parties’ birth, each paired with a heavenly stem and an earthly branch.
- The bride’s side takes the groom’s Four Pillars to a specialist to assess harmony, looking at three-harmony, six-harmony and stem-branch combinations, as well as clashes and punishments known as “wonjin”.
- If the omens read well, the bride’s family writes a date-selection slip marked “yeon-gil” (涓吉) and sends it to the groom’s family — the slip is called a taegil danja. Only at that point was the marriage considered settled.
In other words, in traditional Korean custom “are they suitable” and “which day” were reckoned together: match the people first, then match the date.
Beyond the calculation, three other things were being measured
The longer I looked, the more it seemed that gunghap was nominally weighing two sets of birth data, but actually weighing three things:
- The families. The Four Pillars carry birth times, and with them the information about whether two households can line up.
- The procedure. A slip marked “yeon-gil” was the document both sets of elders could nod to. With it, the marriage had a step to descend on.
- Peace of mind. It turned a very hard question — can this person be relied on — into a topic that could be discussed at a table: do the charts fit.
The third is the easiest to laugh at, and I think it is the most reasonable. People are not afraid of a wrong reading; they are afraid they cannot start the conversation. Gunghap gave them a reason to open their mouths.
Do Koreans still look at this today?
They do, but the way they look has changed. Search 궁합 on Naver today and you get phone-based compatibility tests and all kinds of folk services; the traditional three-harmony and six-harmony readings are still there, and marriage date selection (결혼택일) is still offered. At the livelier end — dating shows, remarriage, the singer-and-announcer couple who married in 2013 — what is being discussed is still the same thing: should this relationship continue, and where should it go next.
Two hundred years apart, the words differ and the question barely moves.
If you are stuck on something of this kind — not asking someone to decide for you, only wanting to sort the noise in your head into something you can see — write the situation concretely on 占卜迷指, take the corresponding chart and reading through the real flow, and export it to keep. Read again a while later, and it is usually clearer than it is now.
Disclaimer: This article covers traditional culture and folklore and is intended for entertainment and self-reflection only. It is not medical, psychological, investment, legal or marriage advice. Do not submit ID numbers, detailed addresses or other sensitive personal information. If you experience persistent insomnia, anxiety or physical discomfort, please see a doctor or a qualified professional.
Sources
- Encyclopedia of Korean Culture, “궁합 (宮合)” (discussion of the match, Four Pillars, yeon-gil date-selection slip): https://encykorea.aks.ac.kr/Article/E0006817
- 아주경제, “All the married couples from I Am Solo — 17 already” (26 July 2026): https://www.ajunews.com/view/20260726145357973
- 연합뉴스, “Jang Yoon-jeong and Do Kyung-wan marry” (28 June 2013): https://www.yna.co.kr/view/AKR20130628103300005